Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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