Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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