Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
