threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
