The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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