I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
