i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
