is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
