Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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