I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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