Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
