She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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