Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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