he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
