You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm jealous of your bromance
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
