so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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