Can i not drive my cunt home
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
