Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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