My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
