Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
