the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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