Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
