hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
