You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
ttyl tear gas
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
