that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How does one acquire holy water?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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