She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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