This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
