oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
