apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
