Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
