remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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