fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
