just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
