she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
