how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
