I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize