Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
