I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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