It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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