i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
