You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
