You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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