i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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