You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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