I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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