whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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