We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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