does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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