theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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