do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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