So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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