Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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