just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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