I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
