I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
