At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
