Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
