Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
