omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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