We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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