I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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