i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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