I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There r osticjed everywhere
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize