we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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