weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
