Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
