I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
