is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
