doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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