batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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